How to: Acquire self love

by: Anna Justice

I believe it is important to know the right time to stand up for yourself. Many young women believe they only need the love of others to get through hard times. Yet what many don’t understand is that you need to love yourself before you can love another. Self-love is a practice that needs to be shared throughout public schools and carried into adulthood. From my personal experience, loving yourself isn’t something that happens overnight. There are some steps to go through first that I hope I can help push you in the right direction.

Self love requires embracing and understanding the reasons why loving yourself is so important to you. I suggest taking some time to yourself and coming up with a few good reasons. Think about where you could be in five years, who will still be standing at your side, and who you will be moving past. The way I like to think of it is that life is a moving cycle. You are not in the same place you were two years ago, and down the road you will not be in the same position you’re in at this moment.

Next, forgiveness is a huge step and probably the most difficult to overcome, but trust me it will happen! Don’t give up on yourself! If you want to move on with your life and find happiness, then this is a mandatory step.

Taking back your power is frighteningly thrilling. When taking control of your life, there can be no more pointing fingers and blaming others for your circumstances. Own up and take control; the moment you take ownership is the moment you set yourself up to create change. Letting go is painful, but it must be done before you can move into a new healthy relationship. This includes past relationships, toxic people, and bad habits. No one is going to give you a brand new start, so you gotta get out of your shell and create your own from scratch.

Also, practice self compassion. Instead of being your toughest critic, be your own best friend! Talk to yourself the way you want to be talked to, and treat yourself the way you want to be treated. By doing this you are creating healthy models that will set an example for how you hold yourself. “Take care of yourself” is a phrase we hear from day one which, due to human nature, means we will disregard that whole statement. In many situations, when someone is emotionally falling apart, they will lean on another for support. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little help, so long as you don’t completely depend on another to build your identity.

Finally, setting healthy boundaries is crucial. Boundaries protect your needs and honor your worth. Let boundary-setting be your go to; a great trick to realizing when a boundary needs to be set in place is when you feel your intuition going bonkers. When you feel a bit worried or upset, that’s often because a line has been crossed.

ast but not least, do not forget daily love habits; they are the cherry on top. Set some easily attainable and some not so easily attainable goals for yourself. Eat the way you know you should, but don’t feel bad if you don’t always. Take a walk through your neighborhood while listening to your favorite or feel-good music. There are plenty of musical artists, so don’t tell me the only music you can relate to is all dark and gloomy. That’s not who you are anymore. You are getting hold of your life and rising to the top! Keep going, you’re doing great!